OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize