conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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