She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
