You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
