when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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