I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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