he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
