We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
