The maid of honor just puked.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize