JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
