The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
