areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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