i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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