I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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