you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
