if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
