walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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