just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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