So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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