Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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