.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
