I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
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