You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
