It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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