Pappa wants mamma naked
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
