Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
