how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
