put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
