thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
