rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
