Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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