She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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