so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
