Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
