Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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