margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All I want is dick and wine.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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