i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
