I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
