Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize