I skipped work to stalk him.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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