Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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