I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
