She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
