the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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