Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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