He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize