i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
