What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
