dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
