If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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