so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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