Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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