I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
