Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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