I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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