I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
