i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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