You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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