My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
