do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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