The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
