I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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