everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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