Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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