Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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