Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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