You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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