everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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