oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
