Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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