Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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