do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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