I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
