my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Two words: blizzard sex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
