vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
