Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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